I feel like this post needs to be very 80’s-centric: lately I have been feeling like many of my teenage icons with their angst and insurmountable turmoils- all done up in pink and fluffy hair and bad boys. You may have wondered where I had gotten off to. I can tell you it was a lot less of this: and a lot more like this:
Every day my deadline has drawn near, I feel a little more like screaming in terror and fleeing. So much keeps getting in the way that by the end of the day when I sit down to open up that document- I simply sit there and stare:
The truth is I have been writing a lot. A lot of proposals for my day job that have left me feeling a little less creative in the fiction department and more or less structural in the requests for money, acquisitions, and phasing of implementations (I have toyed with the idea of adding juicy word emphasizers to these rather dry documents, but the opportunity to use expressive words like undulate, quiver, and firmness only go so far when talking about equipment, and that’s not the equipment I am proposing, sad to say). Sometimes- having to have a real job that pays the bills and provides benefits can take a lot out of you.
So where am I at then, you ask? Everybody has a hard time juggling life and work and everything else. So what’s the story, Jenny?
Well I am crawling back out of my cave of self woe to say I am back to writing, and determined to finish what I started, I will make this happen. I even have his serious face to prove it:
And to help that along- I thought a little excerpt was in order- since so many of you have been waiting patiently for that August publishing date that came and went. I am shooting for a November release of Finding Love, and really want you all to know that instead of simply throwing something together that I was not happy with, I wanted to spend the time to get my head on straight, out of dry, and lifeless proposals and collegiate writings, and back into what we love most- love. Simple, honest, heartfelt love.
So without further ado- how about a little bit of Benjamin?
His palms were sweating. How long had it been since he had sweaty palms?
She held out the glass with a tentative smile that trembled around the corners, perhaps fighting to fall if he didn’t move quickly enough. He reached for the slick glass, thanking the cool beverage that hid the moisture on his own fingertips and nodded to Judith in appreciation.
Swallow and then speak, he thought, fighting the urge to simply guzzle the lemonade to get the moment over with so he could flee.
“You have quite a dedicated community,Bishop Yoder,” she said, her voice so soft it was difficult to hear over the milling of people around them.
He looked around and noticed just how many of his parishioners had come today, smiling at the accomplishment in such a short time.
“They must truly enjoy your guidance and wisdom.”
He coughed and blushed at her compliment, sure that it had less to do with himself and more to do with the tradition his father had developed over his years as Bishop.
“Your Bishop has seen to providing as well. It is always a joy to see so many new faces here. I look forward to getting to know our neighbors better,” he replied and drank deeply once more, trying to deflect some of the admiration he saw shining in her dark eyes. He needed to finish his drink and run. Her smile had grown a little bolder and he knew he couldn’t linger.
False hopes led to broken hearts.
He knew that well.
“Well, I need to make my rounds,” he said and swallowed a little too quickly, forcing him to cough and splutter up the last of the tart beverage. He could barely croak out a thanks before he was shoving the glass into her hands and grabbing the first available work apron on the stool nearest them so he had an excuse to hide in the rafters with his friend, Nathan.
A quick glance back made his heart heavy. Judith stood there in the middle of the driveway, eyes to the ground as she slowly kicked at the gravel there.
He hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings. In truth, he had found her constant appearances with a beverage or slice of cake endearing,all the while as she fidgeted with her hands and blushed when he smiled and thanked her. And her tremulous smiles…
When was the last time he had had a young woman look at him that way?
Hadn’t he just been thinking as he rode to his best friend’s house how much he wished he could find a woman to find such joy in as Nathan had?
The scowl from Elder Snyder reminded him of the reason he could not pursue Judith Snyder.
He might be Bishop, but Benjamin Yoder had a past that many would not approve of.
It would take a strong woman to understand his past and convince her family that Benjamin Yoder was a worthy husband.
Another quick glance at Judith, and she smiled at having caught his failed attempt at sneaking a look at her.
Perhaps she wasn’t as meek as she seemed.
With a father like old Jeb Snyder, perhaps Judith was strong enough to handle Benjamin Yoder’s past failings.
That’s all for now! I am hoping to write a little bit for the blog every weekend to keep everyone up to date, maybe even provide some sneaks too! Hang in there my friends, I may have fallen off the horse- but we’re back in the saddle again!